Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Equation calculations

**+ Equation Calculations +**
Frail bones of thought
Dried out by living life
Addition of accomplishments
Multiplication of achievements
A sum total of zero
Still in same form
As when first was birthed
Lived the life fantastic
And burnt candle right though
Felt dripping wax burn
Scars of love and loss
Grief branded on my soul
All the goodness of Earth
Overshadowed by the gloom
A doom cloud within
A painter only using black
Shadows every event with grief
Carries charcoal tragedy in relief
Left behind this parched cloak of skin
This sometimes poet lover
This progenitor of kin
Sometime associate of kith
Born and raised and formed
An equation with only one end.

Last roar

+* Last Roar +*
This last roar
Extinction on its way
This tired boneless toothless straggler
Has had its day
No more is predator proud
Must live off other leftovers
Scavenge when one must
Move in shadows for fear
May be called out
As all is lost
All strength anger and vitality
The last roar keeps them back
They know not how far you have fallen
How infirmly you stand before them
Waiting for the first to move
To take the challenge and cast you down
Previously you would have no doubt
And fight and defeat each one
You know this doubt you carry
Ache of old wounds and scars
Futility of your thoughts
Is why you will not win.

Life-bergs

* life-bergs *
Giant icebergs loom
Beneath surface of my consciousness
Pale blue crystal monoliths
Ploughing through sea of my spirit
These are the stresses forbidding
The end of my time complete
Which I must navigate astutely
To prevent a watery doom
A drowning a certainty if allow
The icebergs to dominate
Instead I set my course
And hope voyage track is safe
Wondering what is out there undiscovered
In my sea of Life.

How will it be

* how will it be *
How will it be
How will we know each other
When the only clues
That you read is a plain slate
Electronic in appearance
Not indicating any genre
No style or place of writing
Tells you nothing of the story
Into which you have descended
How can you begin a conversation
With an intriguing stranger
If you wish to pierce their reading world
Previous you might comment
The film of the book was not as good
Or the sequel fails the premise
Or I have the entire series
Do you like that one
For it becomes a question of character
A point on which to hang relationship
If they like this author not that
Those books not these
But how will we tell what you like
If every tome looks the same
A sliver of adonized shining metal
And a flat blank sheet of glass
Every book looks the same
No clues given to the reader
You might hope them Bronte
To discover they are Elmore Leonard
And all the discussion sought
Stutters coughs and dies
Into the awkward silence of two strangers
Who have no connection
No link from which they can bridge
The gap between stranger and known
Known and acquaintance
Acquaintance built to friend
Without that first signpost
Of the evidence of a book.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Tired in everyway

* tired in everyway *
The morning light brings no delight
Into my daughter's existence
Sleep last night was a torrid fight
So low and without refreshment
Waking everyday tired in everyway
Any activity extra performed
Body finds a way to make her pay
For a long stroll or taking an exam
Her world not so old all is placed on hold
As chronic fatigue saps her muscles
Really had to be sold such a dilemma when not that old
When your youth is for the living
Fourteen hours sleep is not unreasonable
Comatose and less responsive in her waking
If only this debilitating condition were seasonable
As no ending can be sighted.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Convergence

* convergence *
Waiting as the waiting ones must
Hoping for a lift
Fall upon kindness of strangers
For own mettle all used up
No stamina left to sustain
The thoughts and dreams inconsistent
With a modern lifestyle
Or aspirations materialistic
Spiritual thoughts and words
Fragments of the internet
Universal sense of oneness
A point at which we all converge
Yet even in this achievement
We are fractured greater from each other
In a place of wonderment
Cannot greet each other
Exiles from our own humanity
And that of everyone else's.

Why I ever thought it

Why I ever thought it could be faster
A statement brimming with disaster
Is as if into Icenerged waters
Drove my Titanic at rate of knots
Intention to survive not die
And yet no other result could occur
If commonsense set aside
And far to fast I did ride
Doom is for the clever and dull
When icebergs slice open your steel hull.

A fairly tragic turn

** a fairly tragic turn **
If a flash of colour
A setting of this place
A face in smiling bring
A lesser grace and some joy
Falling rampant down hillside
Buckets forgotten as you slide
The girl ignored as tumbles to
Seeking safe rest at the end
A hard sharp rock collects a head
Be wax paper and vinegar and to bed
All the water lost which was carried
Seems a fairly tragic turn
To common chores of the morn.

Keeping from edge

* keeping from edge *
High water marks and low
These discernible questions I know
Echoes of what were and was
Stumbling explorers of because
Reinforcing the status quo
With acceptance of what you know
Never question the black text writ
Of how it is and ever shall
Authority is in this place
To keep balance and guidance
Keep society from the edge
Flatten freedoms and restrict tyranny
An act of delicate supervisory
And when one side or other triumphs
Questions asked and answers sought
How to bring the balance back
Before social fabric begin to tear
Before the balance so disrupted
All in fear and by fear positions constructed
A middle ground whittled to a sliver
To small for any side to satisfaction deliver
Then these streets of social order
Degenerate to anarchy and riot
The social arrangement up for negotiation
Not by ballot box and pen
Instead by shedding blood and using guns.

Friday, August 26, 2011

News each day

** News each day**
My night is growing heavier
The day has plain worn me out
My steps grow slower and rise less
All my yeast has run out
These eyes of mine sees things dimly
And my heart beats so much more thinly
We shall not fail to not succeed
Is the carping chorus interlude
There is doom on every horizon
News carries only despair and hate
A pair of cute puppies cavorting
Does not address an hour of murder
An hour of senseless greed
An hour of the very worst things
On which our fears and paranoia feed
In every home the glowing box
Brings a world of doom within
The fortress walls of our thoughts
So easily breached and grown taut
We hear the misery and hell of others
Grow insensitive to their plight
And more anxious than is right
That we may in time feel same pain
And so we grow ever inward
A toenail curling back under skin
We become the broken people
Worn out by things we let in
By wars half a world away
By fear and panic and disorder
We feel our guilt for not helping
And feel despair that we should live
In such a world as the one
They present on the news each day.

Mirror or vine

* * mirror or vine * *
When I see whom to admire
I wonder if a hall of mirrors
I seek the best within myself
And project this upon you
Or do I see my flaws resolved
In who you are and how you live
Is the mischief looking back
In my own eye beholden
Do I seek a partner same
A mirror unthinking with whom to mate
No challenge here or dispute
Our sameness make others idle
Each thought we have is in agreement
With every thought of the other
Or will it be of fire and ice
Where you are you and I am not nice
Our views retained have such polarity
My black it seems is your white
My left judged by you to be my right
On no single fact we reach accord
Build tumble twisted love in discord
A twine of Time and place holding us
Bound in relationships orbit stark
Neither can find escape from strange attraction
A pair of wayward darting quarks
Flitting between so many dimensions
To those outside we are a madness
And perhaps a sadness also shown
A prime example of how not to do
The act of relationship grown
As if a core of love was overgrown
By the act of living fierce
And yet the pillar still remains
True and straight deep within
Or has the pillar hidden gone
All which is left the growth malignant
Gripping honeysuckle vine on tree
And now the tree overwhelmed
Now the tree is dead.

Of what was where

** * of what was where * **
These distant thoughts close
Of what was when and where was now
The tangled idle ideas bounce
In ball pit of the how
How have you changed
Or did you ever
Or was it me transformed
The years we set between
Stare as strangers cross this void
Of life experiences having lived
Of all the decisions made before the now
How we should in heaven fly
Arise together and soar upward
No twisted links need hold us down
With smiles are ourselves empowered
To bring the Time past
And close this division small
In physical act reflect the soul
And by as ever once we were
When what was where and now is here.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Shadow night

Shadow Night +++
Someone stole the Sun
Misplaced that glowing orb
Set our world to darkness
Made all shadows blend as one
Texture of night is different
A stranger cloth than day
Rolls all distance together
Only see as far as stars glimmer
Or within street-lamp cones of light
Beyond here are our primitive selves
Cowering in the darkness
Barbaric and uncivilised
Those untamed patches of black
Sky is in malevolence crowned
Black merges black to shadows deep
Conjure hidden things from your eyes
A sense of primal watching
Death and danger on your heels
Know if do not find some light
Such terror in the dark
When the goblins walk
And ghosts long gone come up to speak.

To beat the Bush

** to beat the Bush **
Hard dreams are these
Carved from stubborn persistent bush
No chance for rest for constant is
The Bush and its push
To reclaim the land tamed
Overwhelm our civilised order
Even in the best manicured lawns
Tries to take root and usurp
We invaders who with fire and saw
Intend to beat the Bush back
With every season Bush rebounds
Constant in its attack
And so these dreams of acreage
Of family hearth in family home
Dependant on eternal vigilance
For Bush will never leave us alone.

A migration daily

** a migration daily *
The day has begun
Stocking legs sit straight
As rocking train rambles
Onward to destination
A metallic voice announces each station
We still dozing pay no heed
So many years has worn a rut
Deep into our psyche
We know when our station is
Which carriage in which to sit
Perhaps a favourite seat to occupy
For each this journey seems perpetual
Our Sisypeanan effort each and every day
No rock have we or vultures ravenous
Just a business role to play
And a mortgage for which to provide
We wind ourselves up each morning
Join the migrating multitude
From the land of suburbia
To the business districts far away.

Accepting change

* accepting change *
Dealing with the marching morons
I am sure someone once called them
Not an expression uneasily reached for
Though not a case of mental illness
Or indeed as moron implies low IQ
It is about simple stupidity
By those who cannot understand
The simple dynamic of change
Who take it into their closed minds
To obstruct every change review
If this task was truly done this way
Since Homer was a child
And by that I do mean the ancient Greek
Not some animated fantasy gone wild
Probably means the process has benefit
And those positives should be drawn out
But for transport Homer used his feet
And carts were all the rage
Ships were pulled by men at oars
Or pushed by fickle wind
And even in Homer's time
They didn't always get it right
And in the intervening centuries
Always a possibility complications introduced
So step back and let us see
Give us free access to your understanding
For aim of this change is to make
The work you do less arduous
Perhaps remove the task completely
Then you will need to find
Some other chore to do
But there is always work available
For quick mind and helping hands
And you cannot expect the world
To stand still just for you
Spinning round the Sun it never has
And if it did we would all be doomed.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

* Train waiting *

* train waiting *
Waiting on the platform gray
For train and voyage far away
Those shining tracks lead ever on
And I am still and waiting long
No steely chariot of centipede wheels
Does arrive to carry me forward
Or backward or upward or sideward
The future it seems is unencumbered
Perhaps a train driver somewhere slumbers
For the long line of wishes I trail
For a train on time and not to fail
Has with countless experience proven
To be wishes from platform moving
Instead as barnacle tight on a rock
I am stationery no need to stop
For halted and waiting I still am
Waiting for my train to come.

Synchronicity missed

** synchronicity missed **
These times when timing
Place opportunity and thought
Are all displaced and we wait
A leave at Autumn
And the fall does not occur
We must wait and hope and plan
For other things to eventuate
Other plans and occasions to occur
And if they don't we are only left
With sweet regrets of dreams
And an inkling that
If time and place were true
There would have been more
To the me and for the you.

With which We deal

* With which We deal *
Words on words on words
Laying prose or poetic wall
Glued together by rhythm and idea
Pursue each other down rabbit-hole
To conclusions or just wonder
The paradoxes strangely real
In our world with which we deal
For all our civilised manner and ways
How far from anarchy do we stray
The threads of society as
The bricks of story built
So easy can tumble to disarray
Lack of concentration or ignorance
Or perhaps in malice we stray
Toward a drop where all shall fall
The final ending of a final all.

+ face the work +

+ face the work +
They are getting in
and I am getting out
These frantic demons of the mind
The tightening of gut and spine
Face the work and conquer
Turn not your head away
The scale of achievement needed awesome
There shall be no greater call
For now in moment's need must rise
To overcome the world so placed
This is when our future time must be
This is now and this is hell
As all these labours contentment displace.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Long journey shorten

** long journey shorten **
Loquacious and well spoken
A joy to have beside
Makes a long journey to town shorter
Full of information and asides
Able on all topics conversant
Without an ill-placed vulgar word
Has a good word for every one
Though on politics and sport holds strong views
Constantly surprised at what the world reveals
And how the politicians suddenly think
Can pull the wool over our eyes
Seen so many seasons
Travelled almost everywhere
And you discover in conversing
A little trick to behold
The talker is so silent
And listens even more intently
As you are lead so art fully
Into talking about yourself
Another person pick-pocketed
For knowledge to add to the wealth
Of ideas and people encountered
Lives lead beyond the place
Where the talker stands
And with our memories captured
The speaker listening can extend
Grandeur of this knowledge held
And become a more rounded conversationalist
For when next is travelling down.

My wings unseen

** my wings unseen **
If you cannot see my wings
Nor hear these wing beats rapid
Neither glimpse the panoramas of my mind
Or the truths I know and kindness light
If you cannot see how I soar
Or place a reason for my soaring
The loss is not in me
When our eyes meet and you wonder
For life is a many shaded plumage
And the shades can change and flow
And when I take flight
And you do not see me fly
Is not because I do not soar
In mind and thought and dream
Is because you cannot comprehend
The doing so beyond your dreams
And so locked and solid you remain
As I race the winds of Life again.

Kiss

-+* kiss *+-
Lips and teeth and tongue
Together are a kiss's sum
And yet they are but engineering
Even in most supple manifestation
A kiss is more than this sum
It is heat and ardour rising
Entertainment found and shared
The intimacy of closest sharing
The daring to publicly display
Champagne bubbles in your blood
Firebrand across your lips
A key which unlocks a heart
Starts the body in passion rising
Sets all thoughts to desire flowering
Can slide and glide and rise
With no other touch at all
Simple kiss can halt you dead
Just lips and teeth and tongue
Ruminate upon your neck
Set shivers deep into your core
Flush you with blushing heat
Leave you breathless wanting more
A kiss is always greater ever than
The sum of parts brought together
Is Christmas bells and mistletoe
Is first person who your kissing know
Escapes totality of Time and Space
Gives most awkward a touch of grace
Is shy and brazen and raw and chaste
Is morning blessing and sinner late
Is the paradise lost refound
Common and most sacred ground
Is every molecule aligned in you and me
In kissing find heart set free.

Heaven's door open

* heaven's door open **
When the Sun is bright and light
Heaven's doors open wide
Dreams of other lands
Lead the passage to your door
All wisdom seems contained
In butterfly light floating
In transit between Earth and Sky
A lightness and truth of being
Only found when world is fair and bright
In those golden days of Spring.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Advertising

** advertising **
If talking heads on Gruen
Were taken at their words
Be known we lead such hollow lives
Require the clothing of consumerism
Our thoughts otherwise flow uneven
As dew down a trade marked shape Coca-Cola bottle
Culverts of marketing give texture
To the saddest emotions of our souls
The garish colours and exclamations
As much excitement as we can hold
Enough to catch our interest
Not overwhelm with movement and statement
Dilute conflict between presentation and message
Allow easiest least resistant passage
To the message of purchase
Give us hope this purchase will
Overcome all hardships and emptiness
Or the fear without
Our life as empty as our wallets become
In the world of merchandise
Of buy and sell and redundancy
Where everything is for sale
And we will make you want to buy.

City travel paradox

* city travel paradox *
Seems the world has gone all awry
When Porsches by public transport trumped
Porsche idling eagerly
Driver impatiently awaiting
Lights to change and rapid acceleration
Then catch the traffic at next lights
Holds them up and public transport catches
For all the fine race proven technology
Adrenalin pumping in your veins
The slow and steady multitude overhaul
The speedy car carrying only one.

Never learn

** never learn **
I cannot hold my smile up high
Chiselled off my face
The happiness I once wore
By an inner grieving replaced
My duty do I seek to serve
Reward in ashes for my food
Cold stone to sleep against
Bitter words barbed heart slay
I find myself a lifetime distant
Form where I wanted to be
And yet in stubbornness I stay
Seems I will never learn
Some battles you must lose
Surrender now and rebuild
Eternal war is not the way
And refusing to accept defeat
Is the saddest maddest way.

Darkest

** darkest **
I cannot bring to pass
Aleutian eskimo refrains
In dark of deepest Winter night
Is no escape or gain
Wolves are howling moon is shrouded
All darker denser less possible seems
As if Sun may not rise
Forever night be forever seen
And how then might we be
The dark dwellers with shrunken hearts
Caught forever between
Heat and light and hope
Bound to cold deep darkest Winter night.

Less than perfect

** less than perfect **
Because these tears of our lives
Flow uneven as dew down a coke bottle
Culverts of marketing give texture
To the saddest emotions of our souls
And all these small tomorrows
Made bitter by our past
Shutters close and we withdraw
Our love and life prove temporal
Where once we wished immortal
Our depths of love thought infinite
Proven shallow and inadequate
To combat the raw rasp of life
Grinding roughness of imperfection
This less than perfect life.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Long relationships

*long relationships *
Longer relationships are not forged
From sweet words and light curves
They are cast by stubbornness
Fortitude in misunderstandings
Holding a corner and fighting
Till life's spirit is on the floor
And yet you still return for more
This is love of rocks and stones and sticks
And bruises purple raw and throbbing
Each ego grating against the other
How your partner eats their food
The relations who don't approve
In failure's canyons and illness flaws
In every grating action which palls
Over journey to this point
Until murder seems a reasonable solution
For no monarchy was so hard to dissolve
As this love rusted on and old
No other life envisaged beyond
Will be as stubborn determined and raw
As first we were when realisation was set
Loving sweet can relationship started
But guts and steel is needed to endure it.

*Morning finds*

*morning finds*
These racing sharks and hearts
These fools without borders
The dead and living
And distracted constant brewing
In the morning find
Beyond dregs and nightmares of wine
The world has been cast anew
Forged uneven and in anger
Tossed and shaken and destroyed
Truths laid bare in Bacchanalian revelry
Have ripped roots of trust bare
Which was no more
The floor seems a comforting place
From which to howl your tale of woe.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Winter present

** winter present **
The skies are low and heavy
Over local borough of Richmond
Spires of steeples catch
Slow moving weather above
Which in raining makes self known
Every commoner is crowned
A sparkling dancing jewelled fringe
From drops of rain coming down
Air is cold and slicing
Through heated bodies well wrapped
Leveraging out the warmth trapped
Replacing with cooler airs
Chills fingers nose and hair
This is Winter present
A season without resentment
Occurring in its own time
Brushing free city grime
From windows high and haunted
By remembrance of Summer laughter
As we know seasons come after
These times of rain and wind.

Poet knows

** poet knows **
Trawling through my thoughts
The greatest and emptiness
Space between verbal and not
Ponderings distinctly bright
Or edged in darkest funeral black
When white becomes symbol of terror
Red a placid reminder
Of clothing worn on another day
And how the poet knows
Deep in a poet's soul
Every cryptic segue
All the clues present and past
To those dragons in the dungeons
Knights in rusting armour
The charmers and the blunders
The do it right and truce breakers
Who inhabit the passes between
The words spoken out loud
Events great and proud
And actions less well defined
Hidden and subverted
Removed from common sight
Those moments of ignominy
Of failings fear and blight
Which marked as surely as
Hot branding iron on pale skin
In all these thoughts held
Twisted and in lines meld
To form an epic telling
An emotion deep swelling
Escaped in masked disguise
In words all the truths and all the lies.

Cultural norm

** cultural norm **
In our anglo saxon superiority
Patronising West European attitudes
Given to less grief giving
On marrying outside our own culture
Do we consider ourselves pinnacle
Of what is and could be
And so do not have tendency to
Only marry within our own culture
It is of ourselves we consider
Not from where or how other looks
We are ready to accept
Those other cultural attitudes
Comfortable that if we did desire
Our own culture surrounds
We can step out for a moment
For this home culture of our own
But as we wash and breakdown
The culture in which we were born
Allow other cultures to gain footing
The social norm becomes varied
Culture we once knew alters
Taking pieces from other worlds
Different faces stare up at us
Some of those are our kith and kin
So are we still the norm
Or strangers in a land transformed?

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Conversation

* conversation *
Topic turn and talk
Conversation slowly walk
Deal the adjectives and build
On the string developed
Falling back into the space
Pauses between conversations
When mind surges to sling
A fresh hook into meat of thoughts
Pull apart this topic set
Between the two of us the flow
Words up and down and cross
The space from mouth to ear
Present and project ideas
Conclusions and perspectives
Open ended enquiry
All the tools of conversationalist
To avoid the dullness of boredom
And yet strip mine topic to a halt
And easy spring to another
Produce fresh burst of inspiration
Intelligence and hilarity
Such sober seriousness declare
Or at war with wit and daring
Sharp or heavy lay it on
When we begin to talk
The speaking ever on.

Successes to fail

* Successes to fail **
These successes will be my undoing
A pyhrric victory indeed
Won the battle now confronted with
Maintaining the wage to pay the fees
And seems such a hollow win
When think of all other things placed on hold
Do we elevate and aim for success
Create an ambitious soul
Or set ourselves instead to fail
To accept moderation
And now rain does fall
Hard and cold as hail
As if the snow of winter
Were being released from clouds
And all we could conjecture
Future past or present breaches
Is dismissed witha weather wave
And the screws are tighter
And the stresses grow no lighter
And tomorrow Sun will bring
Another step closer to finish line
And the always known fact
The only challenges set
Are those we must combat.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Words AND structure

Writing poetry seems to require
Sentences breaking
As groyne must part waves
Scattered consonants
Unexpected

Breaks

Found adrift beyond the shore
Of the structure and core
Loaded kernel seed
Of passionfruit

Of poem

Maybe hidden treasures lie
In those shoals of blank space
Providing pirate
Opportunity
To suddenly emerge and engage

Broadside
Of concepts ideas or feelings
Such is writing poetry
Walking plank unsteadily

And at end
The sudden


DROP.

What desired

** what desired **
What do I desire
Who or whom would I seek
If all the world was mine
And I had but to speak
Someone who would love me
As I would love them back
A joy and sustenance for my days
A fellow fighter at my back
I don't desire domesticity
Through well cooked food I celebrate
A bed warmed by coupling
Not infrequently and with enthusiasm
(For if this is chore what is life?)
An ability to laugh at mistakes
In equal part accept responsibility
And apologise when tiredness or stubbornness
Causes one or other to be ill-mannered
A perfect companion would be sought
Not one who could be bought
Would have to be a special someone
Who also sought somewhat the same
This it seems would be whom I desire
My what and whom to meet
If all the world was mine
And I had but to speak.

In my boots

** in my boots **
Lift my smile from my boots
Hang it beneath my nose
For till now so heavily weighed down
By doubts and pains of this world
By the who cares for what
The small insignificance of life
Churning sharpened blades of love
At time I think of death
Not as escape rather as a pause
From hurt and barbed insecurities
Wrapped around and within me
Cold blast of life against which find me
Uninsulated and unable to
Rebuke the charges levelled
Of living life unsteadily
Having a drunkard's patience
And a smoker's yellowed fingered itch.

Safer choices

* safer choices *
If someone watching over shoulder
Viewing Greek myths a safer choice
In public places seen as civilised not depraved
About the better aspects of humanity
Wisdom learnt in fables
Always raise us to higher planes
As if were the God aspect
For to those Olympians ancient greeks gave
All those of our faults in spades
Made them darker and more ignorant
Prouder and more vindictive
Than any mortal foolish
And so quarrels were permanent
Not a drachma of sense they had
Falling for the easiest acts of subterfuge
Unable to exit from disagreements
Harmful to themselves
Always doing what they ought not
And being caught and being taught
Yet no lesson clung and soon Gods forgot
Every experience and failure raw
Or blamed a mortal for the cause
And so a blundering blindly cast
Of deities without much class
Sleeping with all in sight
Crossing boundaries of inter species
As a swan or with relatives close
Create a brood most unholy
Cyclops who against world rage
Or misplaced heroes and upstart slaves
Over love or lust or vanity
Start a war or cause calamity
These ill-mannered Gods of Greece
Of whom our civilised societies preach
Who in their doing show us wisdom
So more the fools as we spurn
These opportunities for our learning
Instead as those Gods of old
To our lesser virtues we best hold.

Market cycles

** market cycles **
All was old is new again
The snake consumes itself
Media commentators repeat and joust
Over the same old facts retold
How we sustain a boom
Why the boom has failed
In hindsight experts all
And see the new dawn starting
Or a fresh descent arriving
Say it often enough and long
Time will make words truth
For the world does renew itself
And starts anew with regularity
Make media pundits look like geniuses
And there are always folk
Who will take the shortcuts
Endeavour to make a fortune
By risk taking challenging
Doing what others would not
Or doing it in contradiction
To the market's perceived wisdom
And from such things fortunes make
For they are blessed by Time and Fate
For the world has recycled
What was boom is now bust
Or what was unwanted now in demand
As business takes and makes and breaks
The souls and spirits of men
Some few made greater many lesser
In guessing where the pendulum stands
And when it will swing again.

Thank goodness for

** thank goodness for **
I am thirsty and cannot drink
I am weary yet unable to rest
I am bone tired but sleep evades me
All I am framed by
Is all those things cannot
No sleep no drink no rest at all
A struggle to draw clean breath
I have life feels like death
All the needs to be fulfilled
And even blood will not flow
My heart in passion refuse to beat
Those hormones delicious unused
Thank goodness for self abuse
I may go blind and lose my sight
Hair grow on palms and wet sticky nights
And yet the carnal cry sated
Thank goodness for whoever first masturbated
Were we conscious and fully formed
Or still in trees and cast as apes
When first we took to alleviate
Th joyous spark dammed inside
Having invented that almost surprising
We did not stop and exhaust ourselves
Place evolution on hold
As of ourselves we made bold
A spurting coursing fermenting flow
The entire being focused on pleasure to ego
A life constantly aiming to be sated
Until Winter or natural disaster unanticipated
Wipes from world those gurning fools
Who are only fulfilled playing with their tools
Those who are left puritans dour
And now guilt has the power
Natural joys and natural highs
Ungodly acts to be set aside
And so we no longer seek
To masturbate everyday of every week.

Could you be

*** Could you be ***
Unlock your heart
That impervious stare
Do you ever laugh
For we would never dare
To cajole and jape
Your presence makes us sober
Drunkenness foolishness evaporates
You are a person with whom we are well acquainted
And yet none dare call you friend
Your truths and secrets buried deep
None ask in case offend
There is life and hint of sun
A smattering of travels drip feed
Make us wonder who you were
Before we met and found such dread
In your manner and visage hard
Never opening to allow
Another to gain your ear
To gain your heart
Hold you close
And shift those walls
Lay them flat
Allow you to see out
And allows us to discover
If you could be friend or lover.

Deceive my Self

*+- deceive my Self -+*
There is a treasure I am sure
A reward for life endured
For seems I cannot celebrate
This life I lead which is so great
I eat till stomach filled
And roof is sealed above my head
Each day weary body placed in soft bed
House is heated and cooled if needed
I have a job well paid
And a little car to take me from A to B
If need be I can find friends
And some frivolous activity partake
While I have two children
Standing tall and straight
Who show me their love
And are as intelligent as required
Have average manners matching mine
They are an expense at times
And in duty own time not always my own
Yet they are more precious than my own bones
These reward for chores done
Reward for acts dull under burning Sun
Everything is external to myself
To achieve through them
A device to deceive myself
Into thinking I am doing well.

Changing type

** changing type **
These days are come to haunt us
Fate fickle taunt us
Best plans are swept away
A changing type of day
All efforts to manage well
Cannot the conclusion foretell
As every action generates
Failures many demonstrates
People are not where should be
And those who are need not be
There is confusion in the ranks
Overworked leaders gaining no thanks
The removal of society's order
Collapse of known borders
We are on anarchy's brink
Need less impulse more think
This is how civilisations ceases
With mobs and tax decreases
Dreams put on hold at the Cape
Explosive rise in an outpouring of hate
No one cares if for other provided
If once a village unified are now divided
Together strong once we stood
Now our decadent civilisation acknowledges no good.

Tramp

* Tramp *
In a colour banner high
Set the rainbow of life cross sky
The easy demeanour of a tramp
No cares at all except where to get
Another fag or another drink
Any doorway for shelter do
No great company due to the smell
Which tramp does not smell as well
Been so long in this state
No other form could contemplate
Smile is one meant to ingratiate
The tramp with all they meet
Just makes commuters step back
And offer feebly some coin to placate
This image of where life could turn
Due to bad luck or tragic personal fate
To step off from the straight and narrow
Fall between the cracks of stability and security
Become a blip below social net
All your life gone to hell
Become a tramp with a smell
All life attention centred on next cigarette.

Monday, August 15, 2011

What point

** what point **
These quietly tracking feet
Sounds of city muted
Looking for uniqueness
Reflection of perfect self
Mirror of your self
Inside those other eyes
Hear their words and consider
What really is the point
Can see where this conversation is heading
The ending drawn out clear
Another lonely night
Holding up a beer
Cheered by friends surrounding
Wonder why they are here
All seem so desperate
Hung drawn and quartered
Hanging from relationships gallows
Rejects on the shelf
Perfection is not for you
Those lives of ease and luxury
You must struggle forward
A trier and a mediocrity
An un substantial blip
Neither of benefit or drag
To society all around
Will live and die un heralded
Except by a chosen few
Who live same life as you
These myriad miscreants
Into your orbit strayed
A group of oddities
Unassuming blank dull motes
Fate brings you together
For there is no where else to go
The lost and lonely grasping for
This friendship you would not know.

Friday, August 12, 2011

What I like

** what I llike **
What fashion what style which cut
I just know what I like
Online or offline
Through browser ot at bricks and mortar
The fabric the drop the line
I consider and decide
If I should make the garment mine
Expense a consideration for finances tight
Yet always willing to spend if it is just right
Leather or cotton or wool blend or suede
Which ever I feel I should have
And sales cannot evade
A rabbit in the headlights
Of oncoming discounted perfection
A shortage of stock so no time for reflection
Just use the credit provisioned
For perfect garment envisioned
By using it perpetually
Will ensure the profit eventually
Of this fashion item bought
This perfect item which was sought
I just know what I like
Hope I can deal with bills when they strike.

Unequal war

** unequal war **
There is another war occurring
A silent war unreported
The insidious shifting of equality
Margin changing between the Have
And the trapped Have Nots
For all the goods electrical
Entertainment toys provided
Have Nots want access to society's levers
To feel they matter and control their lives
Are not disposable and forgotten
Are not objects of Have derision
Looking down on Have Nots
Picking at their weak education
Finding mirth in their crowded squalor
How Have Nots have to always queue
For every illness or prescription pill
And when budget matters rise
Haves cut Have Nots support
Leave them floundering in own muck
Seems the Haves have all the luck
An education bought solid
Access to the right people at right time
Set in stone the lead they hold
Passed back by others who before them strode
All the little edges privilege provides
To allow the Haves such better lives
And as they know only such
Cannot comprehend another life
Where merit must be fought for
And education is class war
Where parents worn down cannot attend to
The adventurous desires their children might do
As the Have Nots have so little to spare
After mortgage food utilities and car
Exhausted from uneven pursuit of what
Haves have always had and got
That little extra to soften the path
Avoidance of the government's wrath
This divided kingdom of have or not
As inequality grows how long has it got?

Thursday, August 11, 2011

numbed

+* numbed *+
This quiet and desperate despair
Death adder in my heart
Poison darkly seeps and spreads
Inescapable and unavoidable
Throws world external into dullness
Blunts all joy and laughter
Submerged drowning in a fog of shadows
Exiled from my friends and family
My hands so clumsy if I reach out
Spoiling all I touch
As if the poison is not within but of
Of me and completely formed
A poison poisonous to brighter life
A despair or thunder cloud
Intruding upon every other life
Simple tasks become insurmountable
Weather is to harsh and I too brittle
Cold or heat or wind or shine fracture me
Leave me beaten and bruised
Bleeding internally till I collapse
Consumed by this poisonous blight
Living daily in numbed darkest life.

Simple beauty

** simple beauty **
I look upon your lines
So elegant and restrained
Time has rubbed soft harsh edges
Brash glare of freshness settled
Comfortable with self and location
Character and strength of being
Infuse every part of you
As I glance across I wonder
What stories you could tell
How the passing years have changed
Speed and life of those around you
What memories you might hold
Locked in very essence of yourself
Echoes of children's laughter
Seen rise and fall of love affairs
Sickness joy hard times and good
Been a part of you
And even when they go away
And you are left alone
Your elegant lines and gentle beauty
Lure others in to stay
Who wish a home not audacious
Just a simple dwelling of Federation brick
A warm and cosy suburban home.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Where what we

*+-- where what we --+*
Where are we
What are we doing
Evolution or revolution
There is a line we dare not cross
A point where profit becomes loss
All the calculation made
The indications in the wind
As three witches might on the heath
The boiling stench arises of trouble
Can try and work your fate
Cannot avoid is postpone a reckoning
When all will end and days shall start
Projecting things yet to do
Carrion crows in my head
Salt and sand eyeballs grind
As activities do as painlessly to Time
Every waking quaking moment shakes
Thin sinew and weak heart of mind
As I wonder where are we
And what is it we do.

Dreams lingering

** dreams lingering **
I know I had the strangest dreams
Feel them linger still
These dreams spinning in my head
On waking still sit there
Layered beneath my thoughts
Making me feel as if
I have forgotten or overlooked
Something I was meant to do
A nagging itching edgy feeling
A nudge waiting a wink
Colours every thought I have
Sets back my every think
In reality must ply my day
And these lost dreams crowd my way.

Begin anew

* begin anew *
Each day begins anew
With me trying to view
A positive to starting day
With a slate of work to be done
Potential to the load succumb
Will hold it up and bring to control
All will right if I toil
I fear this run too late
If broken nothing more to celebrate.

A shoe for your thoughts

** a shoe for your thoughts **
A shoe for your thoughts
Different kind of penny
Because money means less than before
Material goods only currency
Banking is dead bring on barter
What have you got
Not how much in wallet
A clothesline a swap for potatoes
Or perhaps a lively pair of chickens
For a car which barely runs
All the items acquired
Abruptly take on a different light
For what could they be exchanged
Can I carry them and are they light
For what and what and then to something
You do want
The brand new barter economy
Because the money is soiled
Worthless sheets of pretty paper
Promising much and delivering squat.

Mob

** Mob **
These whistling screams and shrieks
Darkness surrounds and completes
Flickering madness this way comes
In the guise of mobs and guns
Civil order temporarily dissolved
Forces of the Law are broken
There are none here normal
Each is only prey or predator
This is the mob in all its shades
A shifting lusting intemperate mass
No gentle form or patience has
To stop is to dissolve
To create add anarchy and loss
Loss of respect or ownership
A loss of commonsense
This is not revolution planned
From such chaos comes not freedom
Instead comes the brutal man
The warlord or dictator
Who can face the mob and channel
All resentment and chaotic power
Into a spectre for his own hands
Then bring order harsh
Sharp and brutal and obscene
And before the mob realise
What was past was dream
And now in nightmare they are stuck fast.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Family fulcrum

** family fulcrum **
These times are set to try us
Of heavy heart and heavy head
World's problems recede
Behind the fog and fury of family
An illness or sharp and ill twist of fate
Sudden telescoping of concerns
A need to focus on this primary point
Centre of universe become
All else on fulcrum spin
Family centre of all concerns
Global war famine or disease
Outside your doors ignored
Only that which touches family
Those occurrences reach inside your home
Threaten peace of your hearth
Only to those attend
Care not for all else.

Monday, August 8, 2011

In tragic depths of moonless night
The Skulhoth horde called forth to rise
Princelings of the Harrken legacy
Spawn of Great Chthulu
The Mythos proud and dark
Serving darker forces
From the very darkest deep
Called by men of knowledge
Who in reason control their fear
Lacking in the wisdom to learn
The insanity they call upon
To less than human souls they will become
Driven to complete madness
When many mouthed and tentacled
Skulhoth steathed in darkest ichor
Fanged and horned and talon clawed
On physical form not only attack
The Skulhoth also slip inside
Fragile minds of those who hear
Maddening howl of the Skulhoth call
Every hope and erg of goodness
All traces of normality remove
The Skulhoth shake the human psyche
And with a roar all sense remove
There is no cure nor no hope
For those who the Skulhoth assault
There is only greater darkness and madness
On moonless night of greatest tragic darkness
When Skulhoth called forth to appear.

** move to null **

---- move to null -----
Often find the drifting thoughts
In morass of woe
I am just here and no further found
The day is cold and thoughts slow
A morbid dance in amber make
Is this how life feels
Half warmed up and served to fate
There is an impeding sense of doom
Of a world without room
Our better sides battered down
Our optimism set on hold
The stars to whom we reached
Unattainable to us seem
Those who shall reach them now
Not in course of endeavours scientific
Instead for matters mercantile
And any benefits which accrue
Shall fill the profits of privileged few
And on my back carry this cross
A mortgage and debts
This constant cost
Would see if tomorrow could bring
A better place and better dream
Instead I slip to fall beside
The edge of this roadside
And none who see have time to stop
Seems compassion now fixed by the clock
So much in distress found
An ending cannot be sought
No continuation by other means
The darkness of completion
Termination of this line
The resolution of life
Is only total death and total null of anything.

Dark image

** dark image **
Dusky silken maidens
Voyeurs of the dark
Dreams in firework shadow
The brim of life is full
The tears of Gods shed
Upon the mortal darkness
A fresh kind of ill and dread
As all in confusion fall
And I am one of many
Who collapses dead.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

And you stand for

** and you stand for **
The darkness or the light
The directions we can turn
Moralities on display
Is our heart generous
Or shrivelled like a pit
Do we embrace life gladly
Or always say life is shit
Do we love our neighbour
Or scorn their every word
Are we pleasant folks to know
Or bigots racists lairs
Who people try to ignore
Are we one or the other
The bad or good divide
And how do we see ourselves
And to ourselves have we lied
So many channels we can choose
Never simply black or white
The fine print there for all to read
Most of everything in plain sight
Which are you on road of life
Good Samaritan looking out for others
Or scurrying by with gaze averted
One extreme or the other
Or more likely you are neither
Rather a bit of that and this
Not racist nor welcoming
A person of mongrel morality
Who sometimes does their bit
Other sometimes you go missing
By your absence conspicuous
A weathervane in the wind
Turning with each change in direction
Of your own society's stumbling morality.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Outside the flow

** outside the flow **
At times I find myself exiled
A hermit in their presence
An island though a man
Hearing conversation flowing
Yet not in there with a paddle
Not listening properly to the flow
I am seeking something more
There is a tickle in my senses
Random thought buried deep
Says this is not for us
Yet seems nowhere else to leap
The conversation continues onward
Seems to ease their souls
Yet I am not included
And the chatter gives me no rest
Seems shallow and inconsequential
Not using intelligence to its best
Now this may seem snobbishness
As if I pity them
Yet I feel I am the one to pity
For I can not find the joys they do
In exploring the mundane
And such surprises human nature holds
For they cannot understand the game
I feel a shout welling up
A need to tell them how it is
And I realise such words
Would carry no impact and disillusion
Any truths which they hold dear
So I keep my counsel to myself
And wish they would explore another topic
Without the need to seem so naïve
Apply themselves to thinking
Before they open their mouths to reveal
A total lack of knowledge
And so I am an island
Isolated from their communication
Just off the shore of where they are
How distant that seems to be.

Art talking

** art talking **
If I was an artist
And only in the paint
Could I draw close to you
What image would I present
What style or school chosen
To communicate through art
Would Monet watching smile
Or Picasso spin his 'tache
Would Stalin respect my endeavours
Post modern Soviet goulash
Would the colours known
Catch shimmering your skin
Would gleam of your eyes
Be where I end or begin
In fluid naturalistic lines flowing
Or with abstract dots and spurts
How would I capture you
So loved no painting could ever
Give you your just desserts.

Fickle Life 2

** fickle life 2 (a slight rewriting)**
The tiled remnants ash crusted
Of another Pompeii house
Gives us stern remembrance
Of when Vesuvius coughed
Makes us acknowledge frailty of life
How fickle life can be
For in another city in another place
The eruption is merely news
Stories written of their fate
Beyond sliding doors of time
Through which actions moved
The difference of the unaffected
How we often mark the course
Of I knew him or was there
Only an hour before
I often travel along that road
Or buy something in that store
Yet fate and time had not combined
To place us at the epicentre
Of unscheduled volcanic eruption
Or another person's strangeness
Another person's political agenda
For you were safe on another path
Yet none of us can see what lies ahead
Perhaps a failure of tyres to grip
An encounter with a desperate junkie
Your maiming may be minor
Less complete than death
And then you will discover
How deep runs the thread
Of your own good humour
If you possess the resilience to resist
Darker moods and treasonous thoughts
Which take you out of time
Discover then as Pompeii learnt
When Gods harsh actions take
There is little poor mortals can do.

* to sleep *

* to sleep *
When you close your eyes
Into slumber slip
When close your eyes and pause
From rush of life's tight grip
How can I love you more
For serentiy upon your face
A special kind of love
As your face a special kind of grace
Those lips so made for kissing
And chin for tracing fingertips
As eyelids lightly flickering
And slumber warmth arises
There is nothing I need do
And nothing for you
You can shift to deeper sleep
As I watch over you.

Cannot hear his voice

** cannot hear his voice **
All the papal bulls declare
Do this not that and not here
Deny the ability to include
A diversity of life opinion
Not about spiritual salvation
Not about prayers to God's ear
Is about the earthly kingdom
Trying keep majority on side
Crushing all dissent
Showing no love only hate
Moving on beyond retaining own morality
To others morality dictate
Live this way not that
Do this never that
Beyond general social laws
Begin to segregate and section
Introduce a thousand minor infarctions
Based on bias prejudice and hate
As Jesus who founded Church never did
He just demanded faith
And so sinners to his side flocked
The sheep for his shepherds to lead
Seems the men who now lead
Cannot hear his voice in his actions
Of accepting outcasts of society
Instead they seek to vilify
Demand a purity unsound
On which to Church raise
And so the rock upon which
The church is raised
Has become hard and forgiving
A list of rules against minorities raised.

Ribbons

* ribbons *
These ribbons of pain
These ribbons of regret
The tangled undoing findings
By horror heart beset
A wandered broken land
A tired crazy man
Dancing to the jitterbug
Of life and work and family
Never feeling ease for moment
Trying to balance self
Against pressures of a multitude
Of obligations to be done
Chores to be completed
Until the taffy man
Pulled so far out of shape
Cannot pick where troubles start
Or where the end of heart.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

When twinned forms

* when twinned forms **
Slide the button through material
Frayed edge of lips place on skin
Feel the heat and pulse deep stirring
How the skin you fresh discover
Tastes so sweet and rich
Brioche of senses cannot resist
Another button through material slide
Reveal it all nothing left to hide
A disrobing slow and fair
Nervous brush back of cascading hair
Hands are not set at rest
Eagerly explore and contest
To see which can best invoke
A sigh or shimmering tactile revolt
This world we knew is beset by lust
An affliction more common than trust
Yet when both in alloy formed
How greatly world transformed
The simple Sun a blazing orb
Stars in night sky are just for us moored
All the universe subject to our whims
Trust and lust set as kindred twins
Who in communion reflect above
A greater truer deeper satisfying love.

The hubritic country

* the hubritic country *
How often wrong are we
The self satisfied smug and free
Seeing other nations in disorder
Comfortable about our own borders
Can't you see the hubris grow
We the lucky country believe we now know
Are a chosen people with chosen wealth
Ore to sustain our nation's health
Yet how we use this Nature's gift
As through country's precious soil sift
Be a true telling if we deserve
To this country ourselves justly reserve
If in future lucky country destitute become
Our pure Nature to pollutants succumb
All the earnings we gain now
Be worthless if future follies sow
For in Time we will see all the clearer
We were not of country's future a better bearer
We were in truth in a lucky place
And our failure to appreciate a sorrowful disgrace.

+ of immortal failure +

+ of immortal failure +
The shy the quiet the unimpressed
Scholars lured by myth's folly
There is not a reason set
For why education equal wisdom get
The knaves are fools of old
And fools of present are knaves for sure
All the gaining in surfeit
Gains you nothing if all complete
A greed which eats beyond appetite
A war with too many dead
These are the victories pyrrhic
In winning lose all
A victor consuming ashes
Each victory closer to an end
Such pointless finality
The laws of success cannot bend
To continue infinitely
Requires you start anew
The contradiction of growth immortal
Needs fresh birth regularly
Or else cessation of life occurs
Immortality without change
Is death with a moving view
And can we learn for infinity
Or do we learn and lose
Patchwork quilt of things done
All with which you remain
Fighting Time to be immortal
To gain the world and lose a life
Become out of time and out of place
Freak of nature inside a never aging face.

Shrill

** shrill **
I find the words too far from hand
To express where I stand
On enigma of you and me
If we should be together better
Or unbound be better free
The lactic acid in my thoughts
Related to relationship run long
Such a bitter taste in my gut
As if all was bile and distasteful
And how taut by stress are muscles
Boards of wood of flesh and sinew
Turned tighter until
I am less a man and more a shrill
Scream which batters nerves
A long drawn out shriek of pain
The sound of an animal being beaten
Or caught in a trap from which no escape
The stainless steel teeth have closed
Shattered bone and bitten deep
This is the long drawn out shriek
Of an animal dying by degrees
No escape and no succour
No understanding of why such grief
Surely darkest oblivion be relief
Rather than this tortured existence
And why the need to struggle
Mortal wounds have been inflicted
Course chosen even if not acknowledged
The trap is tight and will endure
To hold in place this relationship
Till it does completely and irrevocably fail.

Southern Winter Wind

* Southern Winter Wind *
These weird and wired days
Of grit and sunshine and chilly wind
Air pushed from Antarctic pits
To take edge from Winter's day
Leave keen edge on skin
Crush heat between clothed layers
To flay you with cat of nine tails
Of weather's justice arbitrary
All feel this sting who stand
In environment exposed
The winds Mawson and Scott knew
Onto our shores transposed
Shake the trees clear of leaves
Breath a chilling breath
Across every open space of water
Set the temperature down by 10 degrees
When blows onshore this wind
This curling whistling Antarctic breeze.

Carry only wisdom

++-- carry only wisdom --++
These marks behind us show
The remorse and regrets dragged
Through winter snow or summer sand
Drag marks on display
Showing how we are weighed
Showing how we are slowed
By holding onto disappointments past
Instead of cutting loose our burden
Taking fresh chances and initiatives
Risking all as we did before
We are weighed down and hamstrung
By history we should deplore
Because if once we failed
We should now be wiser to the reason
Of why our failure threw us back
Step forward with wisdom accrued
And do our very best anew
Leaving the stuff of drag marks
The load we would carry ever through
Each fresh trial and challenge
Across the journey of our life
Set it down beside the path
Ignore the woe it brought
Instead take forward the wisdom taught
Live wiser not more bitter
To our own life learning's be ever true.

This world is

** this world is **
This is the world into which you are born
Whatever its shortcomings be
However it may change decline or flourish
It is the world and time for you
There is no other that will do
Complaining shall gain you nothing
And all enterprise may not be rewarded
However sweat and tears should flow
For no world or time allows an easy life
Always there is challenge and indecision
Evil and complacency to resist
Chaos bubbling to upset
Whatever peace you have gained
So set yourself with better heart
To make your mark on this world and time
Let those who know you praise your name
And so those who follow may remark
I wish I lived when they did
A simpler easier less complicated time
For then you know your life a complete success
When at your struggles they cannot guess.

Off Main

** Off Main **
These teasing undercurrents
Slow streets on the back of Main
Where the less travelled go
And holidaymakers rarely seen
The deal making fast talking streets
Shadows linger longer here
Darkness clings to soles and feet
Like discarded bubblegum on tar melting summer's day
The smiles and frowns hide sharp teeth
Explosive anger and well practised fists
More than one knife rests ready
Against a mugger's hip
Waiting for the unwary or unprepared
Wanderer from a safer panorama
Unexpectedly plunged into Noir neighbourhood
Where the dames are bushy tailed and feisty
And ready to take stiletto-ed heel step up and out
Upon or over cooling body if need be
Of some naïve and sentimental Romeo
The men here are slap your back and broadly grinning
Until the bourbon or drugs dry up
The horse stumbles or wrong boxer wins
Or someone shows too much cash
Then the mind begins cunningly calculating
How best to split owner and property
And where a body could be disposed of
The wreckers yard down on 6th
In a park or crack house den
Somewhere all evidence can be destroyed
Or mixed and lost in the many crimes before
They are not stupid just over eager
Have not developed impulse restraint
The best chance is the latest and most immediate
In a line of chances to be taken
Which might propel them free
From these city mean streets
Put them on the better thoroughfares
Not realising if they were there
All who saw them would know
Mark them clearly as a grifter's cards
As the wrong type of person
From wrong neighbourhood
To people Main Street.

Last redoubt

** last redoubt **
These undignified wanderings
Tired squanderings of time
I has not known such doubt
Since before I existed
The sounds of cannon fire
A haze of smoke
This battlefield of life obscured
Beaten back and bereft of hope
There seems one redoubt standing
Into which I have retreated
A place where supplies are scarce
A threat of famine draws ever closer
Smiles are rationed and laughter gone
All joy and wonder has depleted
And yet we struggle on
Each new crisis adds to those before
Reopening scars deep once more
And as these wounds leak
The healing is ever slower
And weaker I constant grow
The examples of strength of will
Become tattered faded memories
I exist and move by instinct
No purpose behind my thoughts
No reason to inspire
Mindlessly I exist
Simply to allow torture longer
To cut myself deeper to the quick
Carve out a passable penance
For sin of life committed
As in the living loving and doing
All faults I had manifested
Turned upon the owner savagely
As so blighted and chronically diseased
Count the dates off the calendar
Watch the days fall past
Wondering how long till the end
How much longer will this struggle last.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Unfired

** unfired **
The loved ones
And lost ones
Those who I never kissed
Those who I missed
The heart felt division
A dividing of ways
The words left unspoken
Love unrequited raw
The good decisions made
To allow a friend to have more
The sparkle and beauty
In smile and in tone
The beauty in body
And passion almost known
The words never said
Still wonder if would have changed
The ending and severing
Of relationships chain
The love you and need you
Not a plead just acknowledge
Together forward greater be
The loss in silence reproaches
The things never done
Opportunities placed on hold
The dead man over his unfired guns.